Valley

I've taken a little break from social media over the past few weeks. It has been a nice time free of distractions to just think and process through some things. This month has brought a whirlwind of emotions ranging from overwhelming joy to crushing sadness.
I know that God is good in all circumstances. That is not even a question in my mind. I will say though, that experiencing such a wide range of emotions in such a short time has left me exhausted and drained. I did not get much studying done last week, nor have I had the energy to write and process through the emotional rollercoaster I have experienced this month. I will say though, that even when words fail me, the peace that comes only from Jesus truly is overwhelming. I have experienced His love so fully and completely through this hard time; it has been clear that He does care about each detail and He meets us in our brokenness.
Last Friday morning, as I was driving to meet a friend for breakfast, Valley Song by Jars of Clay came on my Pandora station. I had never heard it before, but it so perfectly expressed how I was feeling. I just sat in my car and cried and remembered that when I am weak, He is so strong.
Here are a few of the lyrics that really connected with me:

When death like a Gypsy
Comes to steal what I love
I will still look to the heavens
I will still seek your face
But I fear you aren't listening
Because there are no words
Just the stillness and the hunger
For a faith that assures
I will sing of Your mercy
That leads me through valleys of sorrow
To rivers of joy
And though the pain is an ocean
Tossing us around, around, around
You have calmed greater waters
Higher mountains have come down
I will sing of Your mercy
That leads me through valleys of sorrow
To rivers of joy
Oh, Lord sing of Your mercy,
Mercy
Your mercy

Today is a new day. One of my lovely friends from my small group sent me a sermon by Bill Johnson at Bethel church. He said that when God says no, it's because there is a better yes. I have so much hope in Jesus, and feel so much freedom in the fact that I am not in control. He has a beautiful plan, and even though there is sometimes pain, He is the master of redeeming brokenness. Hallelujah.

Chelsea's Run

Early this morning, as the sun was just beginning to rise over the mountains, I was driving towards Balboa Park and "Beautiful Things" by Gungor came on my Pandora station.  Tears filled my eyes as I heard these words: "You make beautiful things, you make beautiful things out of the dust."

I have heard the song a thousand times, but listening to it while thinking about Cheslea made the words feel more true and real.  In the context of this morning, I was reminded that God can take the absolute worst imaginable situation- a tragic and horrific nightmare- to make a beautiful change affecting countless lives.

Today was the third annual "Finish Chelsea's Run", a 5k in honor and memory of Chelsea King and benefiting the Chelsea's Light Foundation.  Each year, I am completely in awe of the beauty of this event.  I'm amazed by Mr. and Mrs. King, and the dignity and grace with which they have handled a situation nothing short of any parent's nightmare.  I admire how they have refused to succumb to bitterness and have instead embraced change and hope for the youth of our country.  They honor their daughter so beautifully, which is both empowering and heartbreaking because I can't imagine the pain they continue to endure.  They are truly an inspiration.

It has been three years.  She would be 20 now.  I never met her and I never would have known she existed if she would have made it safely home from her training run that February day three years ago.   But for some reason, I feel like I know her well.  And I think that is what is most wrenching about her story and why I continue to think about her and look forward to this run every year.  In her, I see each of my high school smallgroup girls at church- 17, full of life and ambition, looking forward to graduation and the vastness of life just ahead of them.  I see myself at 17, a lover of music, learning, and creativity.  I see each of my dear friends, brimming with potential and full of laughter and adventure.  It could have happened to any one of us.

So today, thousands of people came to honor Chelsea.  Vibrant sunflowers were everywhere, and the love and hope in the air was tangible.  Even though her life was cut short, she is changing the world.  God is truly making beautiful things.





To read more about the event, click here

Visit the Chelsea's Light foundation website here. Proceeds go towards college scholarships for teens who, like Chelsea, are ready to change the world.

Coffee, Pie and Jesus

My friend, Felicia and I happen to take the same route of public transportation as part of our morning commutes.  Although our destinations are quite different, we have 20 minutes together in the mornings before I get off at my stop and she stays on.  It makes our big, spread out city seem much more intimate and Urban when you can count on seeing a friend in an out-of-the-ordinary context.

We're in the same Tuesday night Bible study so yesterday morning, being a Tuesday, we chatted about that evening's upcoming group.  It was going to be a girls night- the ladies would be meeting at my house and our husbands at a different house.  We had never done this before- usually we all just meet as couples.  Felicia and I were sharing our excitement about our impending girl's night, and how a walk to Starbucks might be in order.  She then casually mentioned that she had really be craving coffee and pie.  Suddenly, there was nothing I wanted more on that rainy day than coffee and pie. I told her I would make it happen.

After school, I bought three pounds (yes, I went a little overboard) of big, juicy blackberries, found my aunt's famous pastry recipe and got busy.  A couple hours later, I had four lovely friends and the smell of coffee and blackberry pie filling my tiny house.  We talked for almost three hours.

There is something so rejuvenating about a girls night with coffee, pie and Jesus.  I feel so renewed today; so thankful for my Jesus and my beautiful smallgroup friends.  Our lives are each so different and we each face our own set of difficulties, but we are there for each other- there to remind one another of our value and the love Jesus has for each of us.  I think we all needed that last night.  The rain, coffee and pie made it that much sweeter.

I Believe

I believe in Jesus Christ.

I believe that He is all good, and all love, and that in His spirit there is freedom.

I believe that there is nothing you can do to make Him love you more, or less.  He loves you fully and completely, just as you are.  We are all imperfect and flawed, and He is still crazy about each one of us.

I believe that His love cleans every wound and is bigger than any sin.

I believe that nothing is too small or seemingly insignificant for Him; that He cares about every detail of your life.

I believe that if you truly experience His power and love, you can never, ever be the same.

I believe that his heart aches for His people, His creation.

I believe that Jesus Christ is the hope of the world.

I believe that He is coming back here, to this messy place, to right every wrong and end every kind of injustice.  That with righteousness and justice as the standard, He will make His creation perfect again.

Isaiah 11:4-9
But with righteousness he will judge the needy,
with justice he will give decisions for the poor of the earth.
He will strike the earth with the rod of his mouth;
with the breath of his lips he will slay the wicked.
Righteousness will be his belt and faithfulness the sash around his waist.
The wolf will live with the lamb, the leopard will lie down with the goat,
the calf and the lion and the yearling together,
and a little child will lead them.
The cow will feed with the bear, their young will lie down together,
and the lion will eat straw like the ox.
The infant will play near the hole of the cobra,
and the young child put his hand into the viper's nest.
They will neither harm nor destroy on all my holy mountain,
for the earth will be full of the knowledge of the Lord
as the waters cover the sea.

I believe that He is the creator of creativity itself.

I believe in all things lovely and beautiful, because they point to Him.

I believe that if you let Him, He will show you a life more beautiful and full than anything you could ask or imagine.

And then you will be found.

My Valentine

Yesterday was Valentine's day.  I've kind of always been one of those people who could take it or leave it, mostly because I don't like braving the crowds at restaurants or feeling like I have to out-Valentine all my friends.. (Yes, I know it's not a competition, but we've all felt that, right?  Or is it just me?)  What's funny is Dan loves Valentines day.  I think partially because he associates all the pink and red and hearts with his birthday (the 7th).  Even so, we’ve never really been a Valentinesey couple.

This year was our 8th Valentine's day together, and for the first time, I LOVED it.  I had a fantastic day yesterday.  I think because I didn't let myself feel pressured into doing what I thought I was supposed to do, like bake heart shaped cookies and paint my fingernails pink and whatnot.  I did cut out a lot of paper hearts because I remembered doing that in 1st grade, and it was fun back then.  It's actually even more fun now because I don't have to use those dull scissors we all had to use back in the day.  I think I cut out close to 100 hearts, just because.  I also wore a pink shirt to school.  Not necessarily because it was Valentine’s day, but mostly because the shirt was clean and long sleeved, and it was  a bit chilly yesterday.  The festivity of it was just a bonus.

We didn't go out to dinner.  What we did was even better- we ate leftovers at home and watched Ferris Bueller's Day Off in sweatpants.  I wouldn’t have had it any other way.  And then after dinner and Bueller, we changed out of our sweaties and drove all the way to Little Italy for gelato.  I couldn’t get that amazing Gelato I saw on Saturday out of my mind, so we figured V-Day is the perfect day to drive a bit out of the way for a treat.  It was totally worth it.  Delicious gelato.  The walls of the shop even had pictures of Italy all over them, so we got to eat our gelato and look at pictures of places we went on our honeymoon.  (I’ll write about that trip another day!)  It ended up being the most fun, romantic Valentine’s day ever, and it cost less than $10.

My Valentine and I in Florence, Italy, in 2010

Uninspired

I just need to take a moment to pause and acknowledge the fact that today was hard.  For a number of reasons.  First of all, I was so inspired today.  I wanted to craft and plant seeds in my garden and make a delicious dinner and write and read and play my piano and guitar.

Instead, I had to spend the day on an assignment that's due tomorrow.

A 1-2 page paper.

No big deal, right? Apparently wrong.  Because I have spent literally 8 hours on it.  8 hours on a 2 page paper?  I have written 10 page papers in less time than that.

It just made me realize (again) that grad school is hard work.  I shouldn't feel bad about the fact that it's hard.  I'm glad it is.  I'm learning SO MUCH and I love linguistics.  I feel like I was made to study it.  But today was hard.

And I made waffles for dinner.  Waffles with bacon and eggs.  Not that there's anything wrong with waffles.  But waffles on a day where I felt so inspired to make something new and exciting sort of left me feeling unsatisfied.

But then I remembered that my satisfaction comes from Christ and not what I make for dinner, or even how much of my day was spent on writing seven paragraphs.

So now it's 10:41, and even though today was hard and I didn't get to feed my inspiration, I do get to wake up tomorrow, hop on a big, red trolley and be a graduate student.  I will learn a lot and be challenged to think and ask questions.  And that is exciting.

Goodnight!

-Alicia

The Mercato

One of my favorite ways to spend a Saturday morning is at the Little Italy Farmer's Market- my favorite farmer's market in town.  It's three blocks long, and has such a lovely view of the sailboats in the harbor.  Little Italy is already so charming, so once you add the farmer's market, it almost makes me feel like I'm on a trip!  It's picture perfect.

My lovely friend Shannon had the morning off, so we headed down to The Mercato bright and early for some coffee and wandering.  We stumbled upon a darling little coffee shop I had never heard of before called Pappalecco.  When we walked in, I immediately felt like I was back in Italy. Everyone who worked there was Italian, and all of their food was homemade.  The biscotti, cakes and gelato looked amazing- just like the little storefronts in Florence.  I can't wait to go back there again to try some gelato.  I was tempted to get some, but it was 8am so I resisted.  We got our latte's (made with almond milk!) and happily headed over to the market after being told "Grazie!" as we left the shop.



Yesterday was rainy, so today's weather was perfection.  The sky was bright blue with big, puffy clouds, and the pavement still looked a little damp.  A lot of people came to enjoy the vibrant colors of the market.



I snacked on a delicious cheese croissant.



Some farm-bred inspiration.



Shannon and I enjoying our coffees and croissants.

It was so refreshing to walk around the beautiful market and get to talk about life and community.  Seven years ago, Shannon was in 8th grade and I was her jr. high smallgroup leader at church.  Now, she's 19 and we both lead high school smallgroups!  She has great perspective on faith and life with God, and such a heart for people.  I am thankful for her!

My idea of a perfect morning!  I hope your weekend is full of beauty as well.

-Alicia