The Past Year

May 9th of last year was a very strange day in my life. I woke up in a little hotel room 100 miles from home, and began to get ready to go to my beloved uncle's funeral. Marty died of ALS, only 8-9 months after his diagnosis. The degenerative disease appeared slowly at first, slurring his speech, but ramped up quickly. June of 2011 we were at his surprise 60th birthday party and nobody knew anything was wrong. The doctors had said his slightly slurred speech was a side affect of a medication he was on. A month or so later came the diagnosis- a speech pathologist's hunch confirmed by another doctor. We lost him the following April. 

He was the best uncle. Crazy, adventurous, caring, compassionate, grounded and faithful. His family was the most important thing in the world to him, and his dedication to me would often bring him down to San Diego, 100 miles from his Orange County home. He was there for every birthday, Thanksgiving, graduation, or even every play I was in. Even when I just had a chorus part. And it wasn't just me- he was that involved in the lives of everyone- his siblings, cousins, second cousins, his own aunts, his two daughters and three grandchildren, and his church family. He would call me once or twice a week just to check in. The phone calls never lasted more than 40 seconds, but that was all the time he needed to say hi, make sure Dan and I were both doing well, and to say that he loved me. It was Fall of 2011 when the phone calls stopped. His speech function had diminished by that point. 

So there I was, sitting in that hotel room on May 9th of last year, wondering how I was going to get through that day. I had written a song to play and sing about him at the service, and I was doubting if I had the courage and composure to hold it together. I distracted myself by checking my email on my phone. I got an email that I was NOT expecting, and I think I can honestly say it changed my life. The subject said "Graduate Application Status." This is what I read:

Dear Alicia,
Upon recommendation of the faculty, I am pleased to inform you that you have been admitted to graduate study at San Diego State University for the Fall 2012 semester.  On behalf of the faculty, students and staff, I welcome you to the University and express our shared hope that your studies here will be both productive and rewarding.

I was shocked. I ran across the hotel barefoot in my pj's and banged on my parent's hotel room door. They were both still asleep. My mom groggily opened the door and I ran in and jumped on the bed, unable to contain my joy.

Uncle Marty would have been so excited.

This year has flown by.  A year of grad school, and a year of firsts without him around. I didn't get to tell him about the crazy people I have met this year and election season was not nearly as comical without all his political jokes. 

Isn't it strange though, how a year that is full of so much sadness can also be full of so much joy at the same time? This really has been one of the best years of my life- I have learned so much, and am studying a subject I am truly passionate about. I'm halfway done with this masters now. Next year at this time, I'll be graduating with my M.A. in Linguistics. I can't even begin to imagine, with his out of control sense of humor, what kind of things he would have said about me being a linguist. I probably would have gotten annoyed by them, because he always said the same jokes over and over until we all couldn't stand them anymore. He was a hurricane of energy. I'll miss him on graduation day, for sure. 

Looking back, I guess I see May 9th of last year as an interesting turning point in my life. It was the day I said goodbye to one of the most solid people I have ever known- an example of Christ's love and what a family is supposed to be like- but also the day that I see as the start of this adventure that I'm currently on. Even though I don't get the weekly phone calls anymore, I will always associate him with my linguistic embarkation, and I think that's pretty neat. I'm so thankful for the time I did have with him, and he inspires both Dan and I to be the best uncle and aunt we can be to our nieces and nephews. 

This is us at the ALS walk, in October of 2011. This is the last picture we took together. He had already lost his ability to smile, but you can tell he's trying. About 25 of us had the privilege to walk with him on Team Marty that day. It was a lovely chance to be there for the man who had always been there for each of us. 

 

We miss you, uncle Mart! Can't wait to see you again someday.

 

 

 

Here and Now

“What do you want to be when you grow up?” Every child hears that question. I, like most kids, had various answers during the different stages of my upbringing. My youthful career prospects hopped around from veterinarian to environmental researcher to teacher, doctor, public health guru, physical therapist and physical therapist for horses and dogs. As I got older and started thinking about college, I knew I wanted to major in biology. I felt that it was a very practical degree to pursue, and that it would give me a great foundation for anything I wanted to do. I was so wrapped up in the practical- what would give me the tools I needed to have a good career- that I didn’t give a single ounce of thought to my true interests. In my mind, my hobbies and interests had to be separate from my college degree and future career.

In college, I would spend an hour or two studing for organic chemistry and then spend the remainder of my night trying to teach myself foreign languages. For every science flashcard I made, I made a flashcard for Spanish, or Norwegian, or whatever language I happened to be interested in that week. During my junior year of college, some of my friends were taking an introductory linguistics class. They would talk about it during lunch, and I would sit silently intrigued (and somewhat jealous) of what they got to learn. One night in my dorm room, I started a folder on my computer of potential graduate programs. I was scrolling through the list of SDSU’s masters degree programs, saving Biology and Environmental Science to my folder, and as I scrolled through the alphabet on my way to the “M’s” for Microbiology, Linguistics caught my eye. I clicked on the link, read over the description and saved it just for fun. I thought “That looks great, but it could never happen. I’m a biology major.” For four years it just sat there.

I graduated with my biology degree in 2009 and took a couple of years off to really figure out what I wanted to do. I finally applied to an immunology Ph.D program and was flown halfway across the country to interview for it. I heard the other interviewees talking about how much they love cell signaling and how they can’t wait to be published scientists, and I had a sinking feeling in my stomach. As soon as I was back in my hotel room, I called my husband crying because I just knew it wasn’t right for me. Sitting alone in that Marriott four states away from home, I pulled up that old folder on my laptop and double clicked on the little header that said “Linguistics SDSU.” That was the moment I finally realized two things that are foundational to why I am getting my masters in linguistics today: 1. God gave me these interests and passions for a reason, and I should listen to that and 2. Linguistics is far more scientific than I ever gave it credit for years ago when I casually bookmarked that webpage. I applied to SDSU and got in, even without a Linguistics background.

I believe that God has a plan for my life that is bigger than anything I could have ever thought up for myself. I also believe that majoring in biology was a necessary step to get me to where I am now. The road to this masters program was definitely not straight and was full of many tears and frustrations, but now I realize that all of my passions- words, languages, music, science, teaching, people- will be things that I can explore through Linguistics. I don’t have it all figured out, but I do know that I have experienced God’s faithfulness and timing so intensely over this past year.  I am right where I belong, and that is such an amazing feeling.