I've never been away from home for longer than two weeks. I've never been away from my husband for longer than 48 hours, since we've been married. But here I am, sitting in my room in Michigan, 2300 miles away from home and husband. I've been here for two weeks already. Two more to go. A month long summer program for grad school- 5 classes in 4 weeks. I've been having a great time- I'm learning SO MUCH, laughing until my sides hurt with my friends, and am still fascinated and mesmerized by fireflies every evening.
I'm here with three other people from my program, and we're subletting rooms at an adorable house near the program. Today is day 14, officially the longest I've ever been away from my own bed. The homesickness sort of started hitting me over the past couple days. Maybe 4th of July, because it's one of my favorite holidays and I didn't get to do any of the normal traditions.
My main thought over the past few days is that I think it's fully possible to feel alone, but still not lonely. I feel very alone here in Michigan- I'm here with a few hundred graduate students in my field of study and I've met some amazing people, had some great discussions and I am so so glad I'm here- but I feel alone at the same time. I haven't met a single Christ follower in all these 500 people. I'm learning what it means to be in but not of the word. I'm learning where I am strong and where I am weak. Jesus is right here beside me and it is so cool to depend on Him instead of my community or my family. I feel like He's giving me a fair taste of what it might be like to be a Christian in academia, which is what I hope to pursue my career in.
I'm thankful for this month of self discovery. I'm also very thankful for modern technologies such as Facetime and Facebook to keep me connected to the people I love. I'm certainly not lonely, with my three hilarious friends and my classes full of smart people with similar interests as me. But I do feel very alone in my faith- I'm so used to friends encouraging me or praying with me, or my Bible study group, or even just going to church on Sunday mornings. It is neat that without all of that, I still have Jesus, and He is always with me and always faithful. I guess this month is teaching me how to own my faith more, and not depend on other people to meet me spiritual needs when I should just be depending on Jesus.
So alone I sit in my little room, but I'm not lonely. I have my guitar and endless songs to sing to the God of the universe! How cool is that?
